


Reflections

by Starr5



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 06:49:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6555943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starr5/pseuds/Starr5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post stock exchange</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reflections

**Author's Note:**

> My first go at fan fiction......be kind.

Reflections

Root stood at the sink naked with her sweat drying in the cool evening air. Staring blindly out the window into the night, she was aware only of the gaping wound where she once had a soul. The evening tryst played out in her mind, evoking shame and guilt over stooping so low that she would take a stranger to bed in order to feel something.... anything. The desperate need to fill the void left by a woman she loves seemed to take all thoughts of what a really poor choice this was, one she would surely regret. Briefly, with eyes clamped tight Root was able to pretend she hadn’t lost everything, that she hadn’t lost Shaw, that she hadn't lost her self respect. 

After the tragic conclusion at the stock-exchange, Root all but burned the city down in her need for answers and she felt justified in doling out her retribution. There was no one person she would spare in her retaliation and justified brutality. She reveled in her righteous wrath against those who had taken the one person who made perfect sense in her life. Once the shock of her loss had worn off there was an undeniable twist in her thought process, Root no longer felt tied to civilized constraints and with a manic smile she imagined the sick pleasure she would feel standing over the corpses of Decima agents.

During this time of complete upheaval she would reflect on the similarities between Shaw and Hannah. However close the resemblance was there was a striking difference in that Root was no longer that young powerless girl. Though Root did eventually punish the man who cut short the life of her friend, it would be nothing compared to what she has planned for the Decima agents who are now set in her sights. Hell will look like a vacation get away for the people responsible for any harm inflicted upon Shaw. More often than not, in her past Root would resort to threats of violence against anyone likely to have answers and if that didn’t work....well she never did shy away from the idea of torture. Using torture as a means to an end will be ironic being as how her first encounter with Sameen almost ended in a physical persuasion that may have included the use of an hot iron. Good times.

Root will stop at nothing to achieve her goals. If Root stopped for one second the thoughts of the unknown would paralyze her with terror. The possibilities of what the enemy would likely be subjecting Sameen too would leave her without air; suffocating in her fear. The terror would leave her on her knees begging for relief and clarity of mind so that she might do what was needed to bring her love home. In moments of despair Root could be found curled up in the fetal position rocking herself into a nightmare filled sleep. Sameen in her life made her whole, made her more; there was no other option but to bring her home. 

What was most galling in all of this was the looks of pity directed at her by Harold and Reese. It took all of Root’s self restraint to not unleash her rage on them. Who were they to give up on one of their own? How could they sleep? Knowing the person they entrusted with their lives and worked with daily and is likely suffering untold torment at the hands of the enemy: how can they even close their eyes? Often Root would limp back to the subway, bleeding and delirious from the latest gun shot or knife wound only to be met with silence and disapproval. She never gave up hope, though often her body refused to take another step. It has been six months of bargaining, pleading and threatening the very thing she had pledged her life to; The Machine. Root knows the men have moved on and are no longer convinced that Shaw might yet be alive, though they still grudgingly allow her to a walk path of self destruction. Root understands that not moving on comes at a high price to her mind, body and soul. Regardless, she can’t lose sight of the possibility of a life without Sameen and what that would mean to her own existence. Root’s commitment to Shaw is what gets her through the day. Without hope she may as well lay down and die, for the one person that makes her whole will be missing. After all of Root's years of solitude and the lack of wanting to love someone, she finds she can’t survive this world without the one she needs and the one she loves; Shaw. It’s as simple as that.

So, Root goes out and finds someone to temporarily fill the void and maybe sooth the pain in her chest. Root knows that the reprieve is fleeting but prays it will be enough to get her to the next clue or the next person with an answer. As long as she keeps her eyes closed and her mind firmly on Sameen, she can get through the act of sex with a stranger. Once the unfortunate need is met with the stranger and with her back turned, she says,  
“Please get out.”


End file.
